


Nat and Cap

by Viola_Laterra



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27427663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viola_Laterra/pseuds/Viola_Laterra
Summary: Three glimpses into Steve and Natasha's thoughts about each other before, during, and after the fall of S.H.E.I.L.D.
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 1





	Nat and Cap

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote these three little pieces back in 2015; they were my first bits of Cap fanfic. I really loved Winter Soldier -- it was what made me fall in love with Steve and want to write about him. The first piece, "Teasing," became the Prologue for my novel-length Cap fic, "[Love Letters](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18688261/chapters/44320801)."

##### Teasing

"Did you do anything fun Saturday night?" asked Romanov slyly as he suited up.

He looked at her sideways. "Well, all the guys in my barbershop quartet are dead, so, no, not really."

Romanov smirked. "You know, if you asked Kristen out from statistics, she'd probably say yes."

He sighed as he put his helmet on and buckled it in place, but she didn't hear him over the roaring of air as the plane's exit ramp opened. She always insisted on this kind of banter, even when they were in the middle of high-precision, potentially deadly activities. Sometimes it did lighten the mood. Tonight, though, it just weighed on him. She would keep picking at him about his love life. "That's why I don't ask."

Not to be put off, she shouted back, "Too shy or too scared?" 

He flipped his shield onto his back and felt it snug magnetically into place. "Too busy," he tossed back over his shoulder, and stepped out of the plane.

As he plummeted towards the tossing, dark ocean below, even the thrill of the wind rushing past him didn't take away the bitter aftertaste of the conversation. In the tens of seconds he had to consider why, he thought to himself, maybe she's onto something. I do have some need for companionship. I've been avoiding the issue.

But then the water was too close for indulgent thinking. Yep, too busy, he thought, and prepared to plunge deeply into the sea. The shock of the impact and cold water, and the focus required to get it just right, locate the anchor line, and do tonight's job drove the bitterness from his mind. Later, maybe.

~*~

##### Contemplating

"I'm 95; I'm not dead." Steve lay on his bed in the dim half-light of the city at night, wide awake.

It had been weeks since the collapse of S.H.I.E.L.D. He still wasn't sure what to think about it all; some nights he still saw Bucky's face, and burned with the pain of losing his friend, all over again, and in a more personal and painful way than he had lost him before... He could never be sure, as he fell from the helicarrier, if Bucky had recognized him or not. He deeply, deeply wanted to believe that he had. But some realist in him that had gotten a little stronger over the years since his re-awakening said that he couldn't really know.

But sometimes his mind returned to the kiss with Romanov. Laying there, he quirked a smile a bit. "Black widow," he murmured into the dark. Yes, she was very deadly. And he had never been sure about trusting her. He *had* trusted her, because they were a team, whether with SHIELD or with the Avengers, but only out of his ingrained habits. His rational mind told him she was always a question mark. That realist again. Fury would have been proud of the creeping suspicion that had come to roost in him. He rolled over on his side, feeling dissatisfied. His thoughts returned to Natasha. He did trust her now, though. After the events around SHIELD's collapse... he felt he'd gotten down to a certain level of real for her that he wouldn't have otherwise. She was definitely an admirable person, trying to use her skills in ways that could make up for her past, to try to do good. he admired that.

And she was definitely attractive, that was a sure thing. But he wasn't really drawn to her, beyond the obvious appreciation for a highly competent and physically impressive woman. Deep professional respect went a long way, and, well, you *would* have to be dead not to appreciate her looks. And getting used to women serving alongside men in the military as they did now had been somewhat difficult for him in the first place. Of course, Peggy had been deadly too. She'd just worn less leather; and she hadn't been on the frontlines in the war.

"Kiss me!" He heard Natasha say again, in his memory. "What?" "People find public displays of affection uncomfortable." He wasn't entirely sure about that as a strategy, but Romanov's tactical skills were always dead on, and indeed they'd escaped the mall that way. Then she'd asked if he still felt uncomfortable, and he'd said, "That's not the word I would use." Yes, it was a bit exciting, especially with the adrenaline of escaping mixed in. He had found himself a little... distracted. Yes, it was true he hadn't had much in the way of intimacy with anyone. He always felt out of step with this world, even though he was slowly catching up and starting to get its rhythm.

But, indeed he wasn't dead. Having super strength, super endurance, super speed, super healing... he was always conscious of feeling a kind of electricity in his body, constantly. It was an almost frustrating feeling, and why it felt so good to move, to run, to train. Of course it would probably feel good to... do other things. He'd never been much of a ladies' man in the first place, so the serum hadn't accentuated his libido much. But that didn't mean he didn't feel it. And that kiss... had reminded him of what he was missing. But honestly he'd been missing it for a long time... no one had ever been interested in him when he had been a weakling. It was nice to have an easier relationship with Romanov, nice to work with her when he really knew they trusted each other.

But that kiss had reminded him of how little practice he'd had... ever, and still since he'd reawakened. Not that there was anyone he had in mind. He didn't want the life he could have had with Peggy; that was gone. But maybe a little companionship would be nice, someday... 

As he mused to himself, alternately trying to distract himself from thinking about physical intimacy and finding himself replaying that moment with Natasha, his phone beeped.

He got up, striding through the apartment, the night light of the city glowing on smooth skin. He picked up the phone and saw the message on it - from Stark. It was just one word: "Assemble." Steve sighed. Tony had been working on how to clean up after the Hydra mess. He must have turned up some leads. Story of his life - no time for intimacy, anyway. Not even time to think about it. Still... it was a nice thought, while it lasted. He turned to get dressed.

~*~

##### Strategy

It had been strategy, of course. Use your assets in the situation, and there they were, a good looking couple, hetero-normative, and it was just the thing to keep Rumlow from seeing them as he passed on the escalator. That didn't mean she wasn't somewhat interested to see what kissing Captain America would be like. He was surprised, first. Which made sense. And then much more tentative than one might have expected from someone so strong and attractive. Though upon further reflection, she figured he didn't have much time for this kind of thing. These thoughts all flew by quickly, as well as noticing that he did have good lips and a nice sense of responsiveness behind the timidity, in the moments it took to be clear of the other agents, and then they were at the bottom of the escalator. He was pleasant enough to kiss; but she wondered if this was the response of a man who had almost never done it. Oh well, frivolous thought. Time to be getting back to surviving.


End file.
